Saturday, May 26, 2012

Small Update!

Hey, all!

There really hasn't been much to update on. I'm not in remission with my Crohn's afterall, which is a major bummer. I should be starting Remicade soon and that will hopefully put me into remission ASAP! I am having surgery June 7th for my Endometriosis, just to laser it off and check on my bladder and all that jazz. Hopefully it will help!

I'm just so tired, to be totally honest. Not just from sleep deprivation, just from being sick. I so desperately want to be healthy and in remission and pain free. It's exhausting in every capacity to be sick ALL. THE. TIME. And unless you ARE chronically ill, you can't even begin to fathom what it's like. Yes being sick short-term sucks ass, but it is a blessing in disguise. You know you will heal, even if it takes a couple weeks. With me it is a hope that someday I can wake up and not have it be from joint pain, stomach cramping, or the urge to use the bathroom IMMEDIATELY. I don't know when or if I will ever be in remission. I pray for it every day. I want it more than anything.

I was at the ER yesterday with a health scare that just turned out to be an allergy to a new medication. But I was also at the ER LAST Friday, and before that as well. Believe it or not, I absolutely hate hospitals and doctors. I would be the happiest woman in the world if I could just avoid hospitals and clinics for the rest of my life. Maybe someday I will be able to cut back visits to once or twice a year, instead of 2+ per month. Just count your blessings and appreciate the good in your life, because it could always be worse.

With all of that said, I am going to go take a nap I think! I was so sick at RJ's show last night and I feel awful about missing it, but that's the beauty of Crohn's-I can be fine one minute and then in a literal instant I can be throwing up and sick for hours. Have a great weekend, everybody. Don't forget to take a moment and remember why there is a holiday this weekend. So many amazing men and women have fought for our freedoms and lost their lives. Be thankful and never take their sacrifice for granted. RIP Kory and Cooper. We love and miss you every day!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Today has sucked. I am in a very depressed/sad/despondent mood today.
I talked to my doctor's office today to get the biopsy results from my colonoscopy last week. They found some inflammation at the site of my resection in my small intestine and had it biopsied. The biopsy said it is indeterminate colitis, meaning I am not in remission and that I have mildly active Crohn's disease. They also found polyps that were non-cancerous but he did remove them just to be on the safe side. So...yeah. Not in remission. THANKS FOR GETTING MY HOPES UP, DOC.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

The results are in....

As of yesterday I officially free of any active Crohn's!!!!!!!!!!!!! The colonoscopy went great and there only two small spots of inflammation in my terminal ileum at the site of my resection-the GI biopsied it just to make sure it's all normal, but he said he saw no active disease! YAY!!! I have my follow-up on the 30th and then I will be starting Remicade!!!!! I'm a little nervous about it but he seemed to think it will do a great job at maintaining remission, especially since I am currently not taking any maintenance medication right now.

I am so happy!!!!!! 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Tomorrow is my procedure day!

I have kept quiet about this on facebook, because let's face it-it's a pretty personal topic lol, but I am getting a colonoscopy tomorrow afternoon at 1pm. It's not for anything serious, just to confirm that my Crohn's is in remission and that everything healed properly after the surgery. I'm doing pretty well on the no-food part of the prep, I go days without eating. I just desperately want coffee but I only drink it with creamer and if I drink it, I have to have it black. GRR.

Let's just stop for a moment and appreciate last night's How I Met Your Mother season 7 finale. Have you seen it yet? If not (and you watch the show) I am going to post spoilers because I simply can't contain my excitement!!!
Spoilers ahead......
I just can't freaking believe it. I have wanted this for SO LONG. We have to wait until season 8 for it, but that's okay! I can handle that. And as for Ted and Victoria? Fuck that shit, seriously. I have never liked her nor have I ever trusted her. In the episode Ted wants to meet with her to tie up any loose ends and possibly reignite their relationship, but only if she isn't engaged or married. Well she shows up in a wedding dress, but it NEVER shows her left hand....which makes me believe she's a big fat LIAR. Again, I hate her. So Ted feels bad for her potential future husband (she's due to be married that day) and he decides to take her back to the church instead of driving off into the sunset with her. Well that bastard drives past the church and grabs her left hand (you can't see the ring!!) and they drive off into the fucking sunset together. WHEN WILL YOU EVER LEARN, TED. YOU WERE LEFT AT THE ALTER. SERIOUSLY.

Okay, I'm done lol. I'm going to go get some laundry done but I hope you all have a great day!

Friday, May 11, 2012

Please consider helping me out-every purchase helps!

If you purchase ANY product containing SPF you will receive 10% off, and if you purchase the entire Sun Care Collection you will receive 25% off the total! Free shipping! Only until May 31st-get them while they last!!!
I am trying to raise money to buy a plane ticket to go with my dad to visit his family in Pennsylvania this summer-I need $400 and I know with your guys’ help I can do this! I am afraid to have him travel without me because I know his doctors and what medications he takes routinely. It's vital I am there. Thank you so much for helping!!! I look forward to answering any of your questions and being your personal Mary Kay Beauty Consultant! 
Please let me know if I can help and PLEASE pass this along to any of your friends and family who may be interested. Every purchase counts, big or small! Our products contain NO fillers which drug store brands contain. They are lightweight, on-trend, and the colors are phenomenal, and they are vibrant and come in matte and shimmer shades! I promise you 100% satisfaction guaranteed!
You can shop online 24/7 at my personal site (located on the sidebar of  my blog)!
Have a fantastic weekend!

On my summer reading list:

My friend recommended these books on grief and losing loved ones/parents. If any of you are dealing with loss and grief I highly recommend them as well!

"The Long Goodbye" by Meghan O'Rourke
“The Courage to Grieve” by Judy Tatlbaum
“Exploding Into Life” by Eugene Richards and Dorothy Lynch
“Facing Grief: Bereavement & The Young Adult” By Susan Wallbank
“The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing” By Kevin Young
"Final Journeys: A Practical Guide for Bringing Care and Comfort at the End of Life" - Maggie Callanan

I know it isn't going to be easy but with the love of my friends and family and RJ, I know I will be able to overcome it, learn to accept it, and grow from it. Thank you all so much for allowing me time to vent and express myself, even if some of it seemed out of place or weird lol!

Tonight is a big Mary Kay event for me. It's called Friday Night Lights and I am getting an MKU graduation certificate and my diamond ring!! I get recognition in front of the whole unit (tons of people) as well as sales directors, consultants, and their spouses, families, and friends. It's HUGE and I am so blessed to receive recognition for running my own business. It truly is amazing.

Have a wonderful weekend, everybody! I am going to go get ready and I will post pics tonight of my recognition!!!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Round 1 of chemo is finished! 3 more to go...

Well dad's first chemo treatment was yesterday and went pretty well. It took FOREVER it seemed like...I think just around 3 hours. The staff there are SO nice and amazing and caring. Truly special people. His next round of treatment is May 29th.

He also saw his neurologist this morning and the neurologist told him that he will have to wait 6 months to drive, but being a Stewart he is already going shopping today. I am so irritated. He knows he's not supposed to because of the seizures but he's willing to risk it. He could harm himself or hurt another family if he seizes while driving. It's just frustrating. I don't mind letting him know how unhappy I am about it either. It just irritates me to no fucking end!!!!

Anyways, that's all I have on the updates for now. I'm doing well! The new meds I am taking are helping my Crohn's which I am so happy about!

Have a great week, everybody!!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Can this nightmare end already?

Today has been awful.

 My dad was taken to the hospital via ambulance this morning from his work. He was shaking and incoherent and he fell to the ground while working. The hospital did an MRI and CT scan. He was awake and coherent when my mom and I got there, talking and making jokes. He had a seizure, which is common after brain surgeries. The scans didn't show any new tumors on his brain, so the dr thinks his seizure was from the leftover spots where the tumors in his brain were. He got IV Dilantin (anti-convulsant) and they gave him a prescription for it per his neurosurgeon's orders. He will have to take it every night to prevent more seizures. He's not allowed to drive for the time being.

He's doing alright now. He's very sore and very tired, so he is at home resting. We talked to his next-door neighbor and she will check in on him every day or so if we aren't able to make it out. I am going to be moving in with him later next week. He's not in any position to be living alone at this point, especially if he can't drive. Kim (my sister) refuses to do it since she just moved in with her boyfriend so I am going to. I am just so stressed and exhausted mentally and emotionally and physically. He will still be starting chemo on Monday as planned so hopefully the Dilantin will help as will the chemo.

I just need like...a stiff drink and a cigarette haha.

Thursday, May 3, 2012


My dad is here with my mom going over his wishes/desires after he passes away. It's so surreal. I'm listening to it all and it just seems like it shouldn't be happening. They're going over his possessions and what he wants to do with them, who to give them to, etc. It's so weird to me....

I don't know. None of it seems right. This shouldn't be happening. He's too young. I'm too young. I just need an escape. Somebody come get me and take me away from here.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


On Friday I will get the money to donate to the Melanoma Research Foundation as well as my gift certificate for a pedicure! So exciting! Thank you so much! I made enough to do all of that, pay some bills, and I'm saving some to give to my dad for his medical bills! He has insurance that helps him out, but he has accrued so many medical expenses I want to be able to help him out, so again, thank you! You can always purchase from my website: and part of the money will go towards my bills, and the rest to my dad's medical expenses. THANK YOU.

I hope everybody is having an amazing week! The weather here in the valley has been a little wonky but hopefully it will get nicer! May is Melanoma Awareness month, so don't forget to wear sunscreen and protect yourselves :)

Have a beautiful week, everybody! I love you all :D