An indescribable pain

The hardest thing for me right now is wanting to talk to my dad. I find myself hearing a joke, or having something happen in my day and I just want to call him and tell him, and I can't. I can't ever hear his voice again, or call him, or leave him a message. It tears my heart in half and it literally stings every time the urge to call him strikes, which is several times a day. Nobody prepared me for that feeling of longing when I talked to others who have lost their parents--it's nothing I was prepared for. It hurts. It's an ache that is impossible to describe. I wouldn't wish this pain on anybody.