Just a pic!

Here is a pic I snapped of my dad this morning at OHSU. The nurse made that little hat for him because his other stocking on his head was too tight and causing too much pressure on his incision. His right eye and mouth was twitching when I took the pic so that's why it looks like he's winking. We are hoping the twitching goes away in a few days. Thank you all so much for the love and support and prayers.

Please think of my family before you go tanning. Having a bronzed body isn't worth your life. Pale is BEAUTIFUL and HEALTHY. My family's tragedy doesn't have to be yours. Wear sunscreen, seek shade, wear protective clothing and hats and sunglasses. Do it for yourselves and for your family.

Dad's surgery updates

Dad had the tumor removed from his brain yesterday. Everything went very smoothly and great! It was the size of a jellybean and came out with no problems. He is being transferred off the ICU today and into a regular patient room, which is great! He still has his eye twitch and numbness in his right hand, but occupational therapy is working with him on it and the twitch/spasm should clear up in a few days on its own! Overall a great operation!

Remicade Rundown

Everything went well today! I had no adverse reactions to the Remicade and it took 3 hours! My second loading dose is in 2 weeks on July 19th, and my third loading dose is on August 16th! I am SO exhausted from the infusion, and that’s supposed to be normal. After I post this I am going to go to bed! Tomorrow I should expect some flu-like symptoms, headache, joint pain, fatigue, and that’s about it! I am so hopeful that this medication will be the one that puts me into remission. I felt bad for the RN who had to start my IV and hook up the Remicade bag. Because it is mixed in the pharmacy with other toxic chemotherapy drugs, she had to put on a full length paper gown, as well as a face mask and gloves. The Remicade itself isn't that toxic, but you never know what's on the exterior of the bag....it made me a little nervous lol. Everybody at the infusion center today I met was extremely friendly, compassionate, knowledgeable, and nice! I have no complaints, other than the facility could use a little more sprucing up. I had a private room with a flat screen and cable! So that was nice! Here are a few pics from my first infusion! Have a good night, everybody!

Gotta love IV's!

Remicade in all its glory!

After the infusion! Do I look Crohn's-free yet?

Quick updates: My dad and my Remicade!

I had my first remicade infusion today! It went really well!! It last 3 hours and I had no side effects other than fatigue and a minor headache. My next infusion is on the 19th. I had to go by myself today which sucks, but I had a tv, a private room, and my laptop so it all worked out!

I just wanted to briefly update you all on my dad's Melanoma appointment today. His oncologist and radiologist have discovered that the tumor in his leg (initially thought to be on his fibula in his right leg) is actually located inside of the bone, which is NOT good. His doctors have decided that aggressive and rapid radiation is the best course of action, so Mon-Fri next week he will be receiving 20 mins of radiation at OHSU. This will cause him more pain, more swelling, and it may not work. Surgery to remove the tumor is not an option unless it is an amputation. My dad is also having a chest x-ray done next week to look at his lungs, and he is finishing his chemo on the 16th as planned. Please continue sending us your prayers, support, well-wishes and love. We need it right now. Thank you. 

I found an amazing blog I want to share.

I was going through my twitter feed and I found this amazing blog written by a woman who is 25 and has stage 3 Melanoma. Her story is amazing and inspirational, and I really think all of you should read it. Truly amazing. Please please PLEASE practice sun safety EVERY SINGLE DAY. Your life isn't worth losing over a tan. I cannot stress this enough.
http://adventurewithmelanoma.blogspot.com/

Late Night Musings

I have used this blog as a place to rant, vent, and just write about what was randomly on my mind. I am mostly using it as a way to cope with my dad's melanoma diagnosis, so I can write out my thoughts and feelings in a place where my friends or whoever wants to come and read them.

When I first started writing here, I didn't even contemplate writing for an audience. Sure I send the link to friends, but I never thought my words could reach people. I never once thought that somebody out there in the world was going through the same thing I was, and that they can relate to me. Boy was I wrong! I have had a few people write to me and tell me that their loved ones are dying from cancer, and that they know exactly what I'm going through and that they can totally relate to my experiences.

After I found out my words were reaching people, I thought long and hard about changing what I wrote, and making it solely cancer-specific. But that's not fair to my other friends who read it. Reading about one specific topic in somebody's life can be exhausting, so I am still going to use this as an outlet to share other parts of my life, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I would love it if everybody who reads my blog to please leave a comment! It doesn't have to say much, I am just interested in who reads them..yes, this means you too, RJ! If my blog has impacted you in any way, or if you can relate, please let me know! It's always a good feeling to know somebody else out there feels the same way I do at times. It is less isolating.

My dad has 4th and final round of chemo on July 16th! He has been kicking cancer's ass and taking names! I am so damn proud of him. My dad has always been somebody I look up to in my life. He's in MENSA, he is very loving, caring, compassionate, understanding, and open-minded. He is hilarious, witty, smart, and giving. Not once has he ever been selfish or mean. Always fair and loving. Truly the best dad anybody could ever ask for. I've never told him these things, though.

As a little girl I would often ask my dad to marry me. Not in a serious way, but in a way only 5 year olds can mean. He always told me yes, then he would tell me I would meet a man someday that would treat me as good as he does, and who would love me even more. I never knew just how right he was until RJ came around. My dad (due to circumstances that were uncontrollable until recently) finally met RJ a couple months ago, and he loved him. My dad refers to him as a son-in-law (shh RJ hasn't heard that yet hehe) and tells me he is very fond of RJ. He says I chose a good man. It breaks my heart knowing my dad will not be there to walk me down the aisle when RJ and I get married.  He won't be around to dance with me, or meet grand children.

I am so proud of how well my dad has been handling his melanoma diagnosis. Not once has he shown an ounce of fear or sadness towards us or his family. He makes jokes and is very honest with everything. He truly is the bravest man I have ever known. It's going to be so hard without him in my life, but I know if he can be so strong and brave during his battle with melanoma, I can be strong while dealing with my grief. I will carry the best of my dad with me in my heart and memory, and while he's still with us I am going to make even more memories with him.

My Bucket List

I really hate how cliche it is to have a bucket list, but I am bored so here is mine, in no specific order:

-Go to college, get a degree
-Get married to RJ
-Own a house
-Buy a brand new car
-Grow my hair out super long :)
-Have children
-Visit Europe
-Attend Burning Man
-Go to Disneyland/Disneyworld
-Drink real French champagne
-Go to Spain
-Buy a real Louis Vuitton bag
-Be alive when they find a cure for Crohn's, Endometriosis, and Melanoma

I know they aren't epic, but it's what I want to do! I will definitely be happy when these are accomplished. There isn't really a side to me that's fueled by adrenaline, so I don't want to skydive or bungee jump or something like that. I just want to love, travel, have a family and make my dad proud.